Wednesday, December 05, 2007

2

a lamp
rids the room of
darkness
and comfort

a girl
who smells of coco mademoiselle
weeps
staring into my eyes

an apology
which tastes of routine
destroys
any chance of resolution

a silence
that tells a story
of
six years and two lovers

sound sleep
with a dream about happiness
and
the bitter aftertaste of time
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

63 comments:

Pallav said...

Dood...

that was deep man!

women, they have the best weapon, tears...

this one hit the spot man...right where it hurts...

N

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, Stop wasting your time in drinking and getting stoned..Invest that time and energy in writing and I guarantee instead of internet pages you will find your self on pages in hard bound.

TS said...

@Nothingman: Thanks man!

@SVS: Doggy, YOU are talking to me about NOT getting stoned? Ha ha, fuck you. But seriously man, I need to stop drinking.

Sirop said...

Re-reading... re-re-reading... "the bitter aftertaste of time"

Hmmmmm......

Pri said...

this is fiction right?
right?
hug

Anonymous said...

Does a poet feel or dream or both?

Anki said...

What happened to u

poignant n tragic!

Vedashree Khambete-Sharma said...

Nice. My sympathies.

J' said...

:(

{{HUGS}}

I know that aftertaste...

Women are strong. And when they cry, its mostly because:

a) They are deeply hurt
b) They want something

Again, I hope this is fiction. Six years is a long time...

TS said...

@Pri: Yes, mostly.

@Joy: Both.

@Anki: Ha ha, sort of.

@Veda: Thank you sweety.

@J': Seriously? No other reason?

iz said...

OK. Happy post now!

P said...

Umm..I guess I am jus short of words...Reading it also leaves an aftertaste in the mouth.Hope you doin' fine

J' said...

yup... unless you think being sad and hurt are different things..

trust me... I've been a woman for past 2* odd years (Now that was typical 'woman-like' ROTFLMAO)

Anonymous said...

sad and hurt are different.

You can be hurt but still happy... when you are hurt defending the one you love the most.

you can be sad but not hurt... if there was no wrong done... or not to you... and sometimes you can choose to let things hurt you, or not.

emotions are such tricky things...which is why sometimes we numb them... but it's much more courageous to feel everything

TS said...

@Adriana: I think so too.

Anonymous said...

ummm, u ok !?

[hugs]

I quite ddnt understand THAT - daftness me !!!

That Armchair Philosopher said...

echoes iz.

and "bitter of aftertaste of time" - hmmm, well said!

Anand Sarolkar said...

Strong feelings.Strong words.

Well written!

Hope the ending is happy...

Puneet Sethi said...

Man You are too good!

TS said...

@Once Again: Ha!

@That Armachair Philosopher: Thank you. One happy post on its way.

@Anand: Yes, it always is.

@Puneet: Too generous my friend.

Anonymous said...

ok... gr8 work dude... my gal forced me 2 read this... loved it.

Now, just curious... who was the 1 apologising.. hmmmmm?????

P. said...

"an apology
which tastes of routine"

:)

Nice! I love the whole idea of aestheticising your pain... At least you end up creating something poignant. And you do it so well!

. said...

This reminds me of Norwegian wood. Nicely done TS. It takes a lot of courage to post something like this. If I (could ever) write something like this, it would go straight under my bed. Well done again.

TS said...

@CR: Ha ha, can't let you in on that.

@p. - Thank you. And since you've already been let in on the secret dinner joint, can we please go there?

@Art: Well, in which case we know where to look... :)

frissko said...

wow!..intense, beautiful, poignant...and a quality that makes me think it cant be totally fictional...amazing piece, one way or the other...

Dan said...

This is really beautiful TS. Of course this doesn't surprise me. You're one of the best writers out there.

TS said...

@Frissko: Thank you, my friend.

@Dan: Ha ha, you're generous Dan, but thank you!

Preeti Shenoy said...

Wow! superb..Simply superb. Loved the lines about apology. You know this poem is perfect for the prompt this time at writers Island

Preeti Shenoy said...

And I agree with what Dan said!

TS said...

@ps: Yes yes, thank you... ;)

This writer's island thing sounds like fun!

little wing writer said...

written so well it makes me ache...thank goodness the day ended..

Tumblewords: said...

Ah, fine words to tell this tale!

Head Cookie said...

very well done thanks for sharing this piece.

totomai said...

lovely poem. its deep and evocative.

TS said...

@LittleWing, Tumblewords, Jadey and Totomai: Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Shilpa Colluru said...

achingly beautiful

Anonymous said...

Such perfect moments captured in time and print...thank you for sharing and welcome to WI.

UL

TS said...

Thanks UL.

The Dragon Reborn said...

its amazing how most people read this and feel a sense of Deja Vu.. minus the ability to actually be able to express it themselves!

Cheers to that.. well done you..
Thus judgement hath been passed on thy piece of writing.. passed by yet another love fool :-)

by the by.. my blog got deleted by someone.. have moved to http://thedragonkind.blogspot.com

K.

TS said...

@TDR: Point noted K... :)

R said...

Take a beer on me. And incredible lines. Please put more moments together like these.

TS said...

Ha ha, a man after my own heart!

Will do.

Spunky Monkey said...

I like the last line very much.

moody crab said...

Simply awesome..

Hey, I'm new to blogging but I've been reading your posts for a while now. I've linked this to one of my posts. Hope its not a problem. :)

Dreamcatcher said...

This is so beautiful, and so very sad. Lovely.

TS said...

@Moody Crab: Not a problem at all!

. said...

TS, I've added your blog on my blogroll. Just to let you know. Happy post??

The Darkling Thrush said...

=)

funny, i could hear bittersweet symphony in my head when i was at the first few lines.

like how the sharply dropped off sentences feel.
nice and sharp.

i hope things other than the whiskey are helping.

*a big hug*, nonetheless.

TS said...

@Art: Surething.

@The Darkling Thrush: Thank you. And I'm keeping away from the whisky come what may.

P. said...

WRITE. It's been more than two weeks.

Sirop said...

Pray tell Sir, why have you been absconding? From blogs in general?!

Renu said...

Lovely poetry.....
Touching...

hopscotch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hopscotch said...

Poignant....Intense...
Should dabble more in poetry art...
Hope to see a 3 soon....

Nomad said...

WRITE please. Anything, it doesnt even have to be happy anymore! Just write.

M said...

Beautiful....

Anonymous said...

awesum stuff 'sir'

TS said...

@KC: Yeah yeah, call me 'Sir' only. Make me feel like 30.

Anonymous said...

ohk...thn how old r u!? lol

TS said...

24!

ANC said...

Very, very good. If I could put the last six years of my life into words, this is how it'd be. The sad part anyway. :)

ANC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Olivia said...

The lamp is a powerful image