a lamp
rids the room of
darkness
and comfort
a girl
who smells of coco mademoiselle
weeps
staring into my eyes
an apology
which tastes of routine
destroys
any chance of resolution
a silence
that tells a story
of
six years and two lovers
sound sleep
with a dream about happiness
and
the bitter aftertaste of time
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
63 comments:
Dood...
that was deep man!
women, they have the best weapon, tears...
this one hit the spot man...right where it hurts...
N
Hmmmm, Stop wasting your time in drinking and getting stoned..Invest that time and energy in writing and I guarantee instead of internet pages you will find your self on pages in hard bound.
@Nothingman: Thanks man!
@SVS: Doggy, YOU are talking to me about NOT getting stoned? Ha ha, fuck you. But seriously man, I need to stop drinking.
Re-reading... re-re-reading... "the bitter aftertaste of time"
Hmmmmm......
this is fiction right?
right?
hug
Does a poet feel or dream or both?
What happened to u
poignant n tragic!
Nice. My sympathies.
:(
{{HUGS}}
I know that aftertaste...
Women are strong. And when they cry, its mostly because:
a) They are deeply hurt
b) They want something
Again, I hope this is fiction. Six years is a long time...
@Pri: Yes, mostly.
@Joy: Both.
@Anki: Ha ha, sort of.
@Veda: Thank you sweety.
@J': Seriously? No other reason?
OK. Happy post now!
Umm..I guess I am jus short of words...Reading it also leaves an aftertaste in the mouth.Hope you doin' fine
yup... unless you think being sad and hurt are different things..
trust me... I've been a woman for past 2* odd years (Now that was typical 'woman-like' ROTFLMAO)
sad and hurt are different.
You can be hurt but still happy... when you are hurt defending the one you love the most.
you can be sad but not hurt... if there was no wrong done... or not to you... and sometimes you can choose to let things hurt you, or not.
emotions are such tricky things...which is why sometimes we numb them... but it's much more courageous to feel everything
@Adriana: I think so too.
ummm, u ok !?
[hugs]
I quite ddnt understand THAT - daftness me !!!
echoes iz.
and "bitter of aftertaste of time" - hmmm, well said!
Strong feelings.Strong words.
Well written!
Hope the ending is happy...
Man You are too good!
@Once Again: Ha!
@That Armachair Philosopher: Thank you. One happy post on its way.
@Anand: Yes, it always is.
@Puneet: Too generous my friend.
ok... gr8 work dude... my gal forced me 2 read this... loved it.
Now, just curious... who was the 1 apologising.. hmmmmm?????
"an apology
which tastes of routine"
:)
Nice! I love the whole idea of aestheticising your pain... At least you end up creating something poignant. And you do it so well!
This reminds me of Norwegian wood. Nicely done TS. It takes a lot of courage to post something like this. If I (could ever) write something like this, it would go straight under my bed. Well done again.
@CR: Ha ha, can't let you in on that.
@p. - Thank you. And since you've already been let in on the secret dinner joint, can we please go there?
@Art: Well, in which case we know where to look... :)
wow!..intense, beautiful, poignant...and a quality that makes me think it cant be totally fictional...amazing piece, one way or the other...
This is really beautiful TS. Of course this doesn't surprise me. You're one of the best writers out there.
@Frissko: Thank you, my friend.
@Dan: Ha ha, you're generous Dan, but thank you!
Wow! superb..Simply superb. Loved the lines about apology. You know this poem is perfect for the prompt this time at writers Island
And I agree with what Dan said!
@ps: Yes yes, thank you... ;)
This writer's island thing sounds like fun!
written so well it makes me ache...thank goodness the day ended..
Ah, fine words to tell this tale!
very well done thanks for sharing this piece.
lovely poem. its deep and evocative.
@LittleWing, Tumblewords, Jadey and Totomai: Thank you for your words of encouragement.
achingly beautiful
Such perfect moments captured in time and print...thank you for sharing and welcome to WI.
UL
Thanks UL.
its amazing how most people read this and feel a sense of Deja Vu.. minus the ability to actually be able to express it themselves!
Cheers to that.. well done you..
Thus judgement hath been passed on thy piece of writing.. passed by yet another love fool :-)
by the by.. my blog got deleted by someone.. have moved to http://thedragonkind.blogspot.com
K.
@TDR: Point noted K... :)
Take a beer on me. And incredible lines. Please put more moments together like these.
Ha ha, a man after my own heart!
Will do.
I like the last line very much.
Simply awesome..
Hey, I'm new to blogging but I've been reading your posts for a while now. I've linked this to one of my posts. Hope its not a problem. :)
This is so beautiful, and so very sad. Lovely.
@Moody Crab: Not a problem at all!
TS, I've added your blog on my blogroll. Just to let you know. Happy post??
=)
funny, i could hear bittersweet symphony in my head when i was at the first few lines.
like how the sharply dropped off sentences feel.
nice and sharp.
i hope things other than the whiskey are helping.
*a big hug*, nonetheless.
@Art: Surething.
@The Darkling Thrush: Thank you. And I'm keeping away from the whisky come what may.
WRITE. It's been more than two weeks.
Pray tell Sir, why have you been absconding? From blogs in general?!
Lovely poetry.....
Touching...
Poignant....Intense...
Should dabble more in poetry art...
Hope to see a 3 soon....
WRITE please. Anything, it doesnt even have to be happy anymore! Just write.
Beautiful....
awesum stuff 'sir'
@KC: Yeah yeah, call me 'Sir' only. Make me feel like 30.
ohk...thn how old r u!? lol
24!
Very, very good. If I could put the last six years of my life into words, this is how it'd be. The sad part anyway. :)
The lamp is a powerful image
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